My Otherleft

Wow…this hurts.

I had a friend pass away. We had cancer together when we were younger. He was one of the only ones who had the same type I did, but he had it way worse and for a lot longer than I did. He taught me how to take joy in little things…like with the gloves, how to play with them and how to make little puppets out of different stuff in the hospital rooms. He taught me how to smile even when I felt like crying (a lesson that’s failing me now, guess I’m not done learning that one). He was amazing. Although we haven’t been close in a long time, we’ve never lost contact and always kept tabs on each other.

A few months ago he told me he had cancer again. Technically, since it had been so long, it was considered a new case even though it was the same kind (if less time has passed, it would of just been considered coming out of remission). Last I heard, he was doing ok…fighting the way only Alex could. Then tonight I got a call that sometime in the middle of the night last night he passed away. Alex, what the hell. It’s not like you to give up like this! Come back and finish teaching me my lessons…I’ve got more to learn from you buddy. :’( 

The worst part is, as far as I know, he’s not saved. So I can’t even fool myself into believing I’ll see you again someday. I wish you hadn’t been so dense like that!

Emotions going crazy…For the first time my boyfriend let me down tonight. I needed him. I needed to cry on his shoulder. We had plans to hang out for a bit after I got off work and he canceled on me last minute…I told him I needed him the best way I could (which wasn’t very good I’m sure. I suck at that…) and he didn’t even reply…That hurts too.

So much pain…God…heal me like only you can!

~Katelyn~